Bullet Points - Mothering Through Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur

Mothering through the Yomim Noraim

You can download the audio shiur here. 

A: Reframing the Yomim Noraim:

Reframe #1: RH is not about teshuva, it’s about crowning G-d as King. Coronation Day.
How do we crown Hashem? By obeying Him.
RH is also Yom Hadin-Day of Judgement. Day of harsh judgement based on what will advance the kingdom.
RH is the day we crown G-d by obeying His commands, and demonstrate that we deserve His resources by carrying out His wishes.

Reframe #2: YK is not a sad day. YK is a CHAG - make it be one for your children.

Reframe #3: You ARE the Kohen Gadol (High Priest).

Reframe #4: You ARE a Malach (Angel)

Don’t think about the Yomim Noraim as an exercise in ‘how can i get rid of my children for the longest possible time so that I can serve Hashem?’

B: Davening:

• Don’t think that you stand before G-d only when you hold a machzor in your hands. 
• Important to daven something every day. 
• Informal prayer.
• Think about the essence of RH & YK tefillah at intervals during the day. RH: Acknowledge G-d as King, admit His right to judge us; recognise that as His children we are capable of greatness; use shofar to have relationship with Him. 

Practically speaking:

• Don’t overlook maariv.
• Make what arrangements you can for davening time.
• Daven musaf &/or mincha later in the afternoon.
• Resting is also avodas Hashem!

BUT:
Don’t leave your children with a non-jewish babysitter
Don’t hijack a teenager’s chance to daven.

When you daven:
Tadir v’aino tadir tadir kodem = ‘Regular’ davening trumps ‘special’ davening, even on RH.

1. Basic birkat hashachar
2. Shemonah esreh 
3. Sh’ma & Shemonah Esreh (including go’al yisrael on it’s own) 
4. Birchot sh’ma, sh’ma, & sh’monah esreh 
5. Baruch she’omar - Hodu - Ashrei (in that order)
6. 2 hallelukahs (order of impce - 3 5 1 2 4) 
7. Nishmas - Yishtabach (in that order)

C: Practical

• Hefsed Merubah - will you lose more than you gain?
• Shofar.
• Do RH/YK stuff with your kids - Sing songs - Tell stories. 
• Print out pictures from the internet (eg Kohen Gadel, Avodah in Beis Hamikdash, akeidah)
• Make special kiddush after they daven.
• Daven aloud
• Sing tunes from RH/YK davening
• More important to stay calm and not get angry than to daven.
• Shout ‘baruch shem kavod malchuso l’olam va’ed’ - so exciting.
• Plan ahead - treats, toys, etc. 
• Remember that children need to make kiddush on YK. 
• Begin seudah well in advance on erev YK. 

MOST IMPORTANT: Kids should enjoy yomtov. If RH/YK become days of terror for them, will colour whole approach to G-d & yomtov.

ט וַיֹּאמֶר נְחֶמְיָה הוּא הַתִּרְשָׁתָא וְעֶזְרָא הַכֹּהֵן ׀ הַסֹּפֵר וְהַלְוִיִּם הַמְּבִינִים אֶת־הָעָם לְכָל־הָעָם

 הַיּוֹם קָדֹֽשׁ־הוּא לַה' אֱלֹֽקיכֶם אַל־תִּֽתְאַבְּלוּ וְאַל־תִּבְכּוּ 

כִּי בוֹכִים כָּל־הָעָם כְּשָׁמְעָם אֶת־דִּבְרֵי הַתּוֹרָֽה: 

י וַיֹּאמֶר לָהֶם לְכוּ אִכְלוּ מַשְׁמַנִּים וּשְׁתוּ מַמְתַּקִּים וְשִׁלְחוּ מָנוֹת לְאֵין נָכוֹן לוֹ 

כִּֽי־קָדוֹשׁ הַיּוֹם לַֽאֲדֹנֵינוּ וְאַל־תֵּעָצֵבוּ כִּֽי־חֶדְוַת ה' הִיא מָֽעֻזְּכֶֽם: 

יא וְהַֽלְוִיִּם מַחְשִׁים לְכָל־הָעָם לֵאמֹר הַסּוּ כִּֽי־הַיּוֹם קָדֹשׁ וְאַל־תֵּֽעָצֵֽבוּ:

 יב וַיֵּֽלְכוּ כָל־הָעָם לֶֽאֱכֹל וְלִשְׁתּוֹת וּלְשַׁלַּח מָנוֹת וְלַֽעֲשׂוֹת שִׂמְחָה גְדוֹלָה 

כִּי הֵבִינוּ בַּדְּבָרִים אֲשֶׁר הוֹדִיעוּ לָהֶֽם:

'This day is holy to Hashem your G-d; do not mourn and do not weep’; 

because all the people were crying when they heard the words of Torah. 

10 Then he said to them: 'Go on, eat luxurious foods and drink sweet drinks, 

and send portions to those who have nothing prepared; 

because this day is holy to our G-d, and do not be anxious, 

because Hashem’s joy is your strength.’ (Nechmya 8:5-14)