Mothering through the Yomim Noraim
You can download the audio shiur here.
A: Reframing the Yomim Noraim:
Reframe #1: RH is not about teshuva, it’s about crowning G-d as King. Coronation Day.
How do we crown Hashem? By obeying Him.
RH is also Yom Hadin-Day of Judgement. Day of harsh judgement based on what will advance the kingdom.
RH is the day we crown G-d by obeying His commands, and demonstrate that we deserve His resources by carrying out His wishes.
Reframe #2: YK is not a sad day. YK is a CHAG - make it be one for your children.
Reframe #3: You ARE the Kohen Gadol (High Priest).
Reframe #4: You ARE a Malach (Angel)
Don’t think about the Yomim Noraim as an exercise in ‘how can i get rid of my children for the longest possible time so that I can serve Hashem?’
- Don’t think that you stand before G-d only when you hold a machzor in your hands.
- Important to daven something every day.
- Informal prayer.
- Think about the essence of RH & YK tefillah at intervals during the day. RH: Acknowledge G-d as King, admit His right to judge us; recognise that as His children we are capable of greatness; use shofar to have relationship with Him.
- Don’t overlook maariv.
- Make what arrangements you can for davening time.
- Daven musaf &/or mincha later in the afternoon.
- Resting is also avodas Hashem!
Don’t leave your children with a non-jewish babysitter
Don’t hijack a teenager’s chance to daven.
When you daven:
Tadir v’aino tadir tadir kodem = ‘Regular’ davening trumps ‘special’ davening, even on RH.
- Basic birkat hashachar
- Shemonah esreh
- Sh’ma & Shemonah Esreh (including go’al yisrael on it’s own)
- Birchot sh’ma, sh’ma, & sh’monah esreh
- Baruch she’omar - Hodu - Ashrei (in that order)
- 2 hallelukahs (order of impce - 3 5 1 2 4)
- Nishmas - Yishtabach (in that order)
- Hefsed Merubah - will you lose more than you gain?
- Do RH/YK stuff with your kids - Sing songs - Tell stories.
- Print out pictures from the internet (eg Kohen Gadel, Avodah in Beis Hamikdash, akeidah)
- Make special kiddush after they daven.
- Daven aloud
- Sing tunes from RH/YK davening
- More important to stay calm and not get angry than to daven.
- Shout ‘baruch shem kavod malchuso l’olam va’ed’ - so exciting.
- Plan ahead - treats, toys, etc.
- Remember that children need to make kiddush on YK.
- Begin seudah well in advance on erev YK.
MOST IMPORTANT: Kids should enjoy yomtov. If RH/YK become days of terror for them, will colour whole approach to G-d & yomtov.
ט וַיֹּאמֶר נְחֶמְיָה הוּא הַתִּרְשָׁתָא וְעֶזְרָא הַכֹּהֵן ׀ הַסֹּפֵר וְהַלְוִיִּם הַמְּבִינִים אֶת־הָעָם לְכָל־הָעָם
הַיּוֹם קָדֹֽשׁ־הוּא לַה' אֱלֹֽקיכֶם אַל־תִּֽתְאַבְּלוּ וְאַל־תִּבְכּוּ
כִּי בוֹכִים כָּל־הָעָם כְּשָׁמְעָם אֶת־דִּבְרֵי הַתּוֹרָֽה:
י וַיֹּאמֶר לָהֶם לְכוּ אִכְלוּ מַשְׁמַנִּים וּשְׁתוּ מַמְתַּקִּים וְשִׁלְחוּ מָנוֹת לְאֵין נָכוֹן לוֹ
כִּֽי־קָדוֹשׁ הַיּוֹם לַֽאֲדֹנֵינוּ וְאַל־תֵּעָצֵבוּ כִּֽי־חֶדְוַת ה' הִיא מָֽעֻזְּכֶֽם:
יא וְהַֽלְוִיִּם מַחְשִׁים לְכָל־הָעָם לֵאמֹר הַסּוּ כִּֽי־הַיּוֹם קָדֹשׁ וְאַל־תֵּֽעָצֵֽבוּ:
יב וַיֵּֽלְכוּ כָל־הָעָם לֶֽאֱכֹל וְלִשְׁתּוֹת וּלְשַׁלַּח מָנוֹת וְלַֽעֲשׂוֹת שִׂמְחָה גְדוֹלָה
כִּי הֵבִינוּ בַּדְּבָרִים אֲשֶׁר הוֹדִיעוּ לָהֶֽם:
'This day is holy to Hashem your G-d; do not mourn and do not weep’;
because all the people were crying when they heard the words of Torah.
10 Then he said to them: 'Go on, eat luxurious foods and drink sweet drinks,
and send portions to those who have nothing prepared;
because this day is holy to our G-d, and do not be anxious,
because Hashem’s joy is your strength.’ (Nechmya 8:5-14)